No Hello

Here's a breakdown of the key themes from the Hacker News discussion, supported by direct quotes:

The "No Hello" Philosophy and its Rationale

This is the central theme. The core idea is that initiating a conversation with just "Hello" (or similar greetings) is inefficient and delays the actual purpose of the communication. Several users shared resources and personal anecdotes related to this philosophy. The underlying principle is about asynchronous communication and respecting the recipient's time.

• "I started putting nohello as my status message, but soon after I found nometa and replaced it with this." - Thin_icE, referring to the nometa.xyz resource.
• "A similar guideline has been around on IRC networks for as long as I can remember. Many channels include it in their 'topic' or have a bot that reminds users: Don't ask to ask, just ask." - susam, highlighting the historical precedent for this preference in online communication.
• "It opens a synchronous channel, setting social expectations for somewhat realtime responses. Most of the time I treat chat like 'small email', so this is abhorrent." - jvanderbot, explaining the rationale from the receiver's perspective.
• "The annoyance in TFA is that you have to do the handshake at all." - hombre_fatal, encapsulating the fundamental opposition to the "hello" handshake.
• "The relevance of TFA is that this only works if the initiating party is still connected, and to make matters worse there is no ERR_SOCKET_CLOSED returned by most chat clients if that party got distracted before seeing the ACK. Then minutes or hours later they get back 'hey sorry, missed your reply, ${QUERY}' when they could have just included ${QUERY} in the initial send, or at least framing(${QUERY})." - kevindamm, illustrating a specific technical problem arising from the "hello" exchange in a chat environment.

Alternative Responses to "Hello" and Their Effectiveness

Many users described their strategies to circumvent the "hello" problem and encourage people to get straight to the point. The effectiveness of these methods varied wildly according to the responses.

• "My life hack for this kind of situation is to say 'hello' back. Works every time." - emblaegh, offering a simple approach.
• "If I'm feeling grumpy I don't respond, but if I have some patience left in the tank I'll use, 'Hi, what's up?' which usually short-circuits the salutations." - mbrd, suggesting a way to speed up the interaction.
• "Same. It's how I answer the phone too, depending on how well I know the caller. I don't think it's perceived as rude, with a friendly tone of voice." - SamPatt, supporting the previous idea with real world parallels.
• "Wave emoji reaction, then I go back to what I was doing until the rest of the question lands. It's quicker! although these days I sometimes respond 'how was your weekend' to continue the pleasantries :D" - easton, sharing a common practice and a humorous contradiction.
• "Respond with, 'Hello. How can I help?', or Wait until 5:30pm then respond, 'Hello' and close my laptop for the day" - pards, with escalating levels of snark.
• "Actually, when you put it like that, sending 'hello' back might be the best thing you could do. They sent you a SYN, you send back and ACK, then the real conversation can begin. I suddenly no longer agree with TFA. This makes way more sense to me in this light." - hiAndrewQuinn, changing his mind after a novel explanation.
• "I’ll do the same - when I get around to it, which might be an hour or two after it was sent. If the person on the other end then decides to draw out the small talk with 'how are you' etc, it might take a few days for them to get an answer to their actual question, but that’s on them, it doesn’t bother me. I get to messages when I get to them. If they aren’t of substance I don’t care." - dkdbejwi383, sharing his passive-aggressive approach.
• "My life hack is to ignore it completely and have several unread 'hello' Teams messages from Indian dudes I never heard of. If I'm lucky they just never follow up." - fkyoureadthedoc, reflecting a negative experience.
• "Mine is to respond immediately with a question that requires a long and technical answer that by the time they've finished writing has completely erased their question from their mind." - drcongo, with a humorous, slightly malicious approach.

Cultural and Generational Perspectives

The discussion briefly touched upon whether the "hello" behavior is related to cultural norms or generational differences.

• "Yeah doesn’t seem that we need to ACK in slack. It’s a boomer tendency." - JojoFatsani, making a generational claim.
• "It’s a boomer tendency. wat. No, it isn't. I see it almost 100% from young people who live in India. And that probably isn't the right criteria either - it is probably different people within each organization. This is a cultural thing, not generational." - codingdave, countering the generational claim with a cultural explanation.

The Futility of Trying to Change Others vs. Adapting Oneself

This is a meta-point on communication etiquette and managing expectations. A user suggested adapting one's own response, which was then challenged.

• "You can always change yourself, while it is so much harder to change others that it is almost futile. The true source of your distress is not them saying hello, but your understanding of that social expectation of realtime responses." - krisoft, suggesting self-adaptation.
• "You can always change yourself, while it is so much harder to change others that it is almost futile. This is a defeatist attitude. Sure, there are some people who will refuse to change no matter what. But many—probably even most—people, if you explain that this is your preferred method of communication when they have a question for you to answer, will at least try to operate that way." - danaris, challenging the idea that adaptation is futile and suggesting that politely explaining preferred communication styles can be effective.

Frustration with the Ineffectiveness of Polite Responses

Some users expressed frustration that even a polite "hello" response can lead nowhere or extend the delay.

• "This backfires on me, almost every time. I reply in kind with 'hello'. There can then be many hours to sometimes days. Either they then reply AGAIN with 'hello' (arghhh), or even worse, there is no reply, and I break asking what they want, and maybe get a reply of 'never mind, got it sorted' so I NEVER KNOW." - hi_hi, detailing negative experiences with polite replies.

In summary, the Hacker News discussion revolves around the "no hello" principle in online communication, exploring its advantages, disadvantages, alternative responses, and the cultural and personal perspectives that influence communication styles. The discussion highlights the tension between respecting social conventions and optimizing communication efficiency.